I did not want this to turn into a pregnancy blog, yet I want to share a thought that I figured could be applicable to circumstances happening in anyone’s life right now. First, a little background…
This is my third pregnancy. My first pregnancy resulted in preterm labour at 28 weeks along (healthy baby delivered at 34 weeks). My second pregnancy was also a little “touch and go” too (labour at 20 weeks with a forced eviction at 39 weeks). Needless to say, when I discovered myself pregnant with this third baby, fear gripped me like a vice. It’s squeeze was so tight I really don’t remember much else as I looked at the pregnancy test. I had pushed my luck too far having two healthy babies and now I was just playing with fire. For the first couple of months, my mind was dominated by the “what ifs”.
Then, something happened. Over the past year I have been on a journey. Partly disillusioned with my career (and Western medicine), but mostly seeking some spiritual fulfilment. Most of the learning I have engaged in has centred around energy and the mind-body connection. In my nursing work I have felt the gap-the longing for some alternate explanation for things and some other modalities to offer people. Well-being is so much more than doing “things” to people to “cure” them. What about the root of the problem? What about the whole picture? What is the body trying to say that we are trying to squelch with our army of drugs? The mind is a powerful tool and sometimes we are not plugged in to how much our emotions and thoughts drive our biological functions (and create “junk” in our body). I have always felt that my mind is my greatest gift. I’m no Einstein, but I have reflected on moments in my life where I have essentially “thought” myself into some pretty interesting circumstances. So then I got it. What if I could use my mind to help me this time?
The mind-body connection begins with being aware of the content of our thoughts. Although that sounds ridiculously simple, it really is not. It means to be aware of the thought, and also to understand either the benefit or the detriment that particular thought might have on the way we feel as a whole. And then the greatest thing of all-we can actually think another thought if it serves us better! Now, I’ve read ALOT on this subject…and in black and white, it seems like common sense. I love to analyze things and so what better way to practice than to examine the contents of my head on a daily basis? I have discovered that this way of approaching things is NOT for the faint of heart. I had become so entrenched in my daily “routine” thoughts, that I came to the realization pretty quickly that it’s almost like having to re-train your brain.
So in one moment (can’t even quite pinpoint when it was), I remember thinking to myself “what IF this pregnancy is different and what IF the same thing doesn’t have to happen again?” I had this tiny (scant) feeling of joy that lasted a nano-second as I imagined this healthy pregnancy panning out. As if in defence mode, my old thoughts kicked back in I began to dive back into “but you know better than that…it happened before, it WILL happen again”. Then a whole new cascade of “what if…then” thoughts ensued about impending bedrest, a premature birth etc. I realized at this point how horrible I could make myself feel so quickly just by allowing my mind to get out of control. And I also realized how nice it felt to believe something different…even if it was for just one breath of a second. Then I made the connection. I could CHOOSE to think the healthy thought! For all of us control freaks out there-being able to “choose” is the greatest gift of all. Time to harness my brain and use it for good instead of evil.
Here we are at week 20 of my pregnancy with everything moving along wonderfully. I plan to keep on keeping on with the healthy thoughts because I am so intrigued as to where it’s going to take me. I believe this opportunity is my chance to re-wire some things.
**As a side note, here is a list of some great authors who have published some insightful work on thoughts, healing and the power of the mind
Esther & Jerry Hicks