Month: June 2014

The Hard Question…

Part of my homework this week…

“Do you believe that we can ever really change WHO we are?  Are people destined to continue the trajectory they began many years ago in combination with their DNA?”

It’s funny…I live in joyful anticipation for these assignments and homework questions.  Then, when I get them, I’m instantaneously overcome with anxiety.  WHAT IS THE RIGHT ANSWER??!!  Although I know this about myself, I never fully understood the extent to which I look for the right answer until I received my email this week with my homework assignment.  There truly is no more interesting of an exercise than to become the silent observer of your own life.

I have heard Deepak Chopra refer to “the hard question” a few times in hearing him speak.  This is actually what the scientific community calls their search for identifying “the soul”.  Where is it?  You can’t anatomically locate it, yet they know it exists.  But how could they “prove” it’s existence?  Deep…sometimes even too deep for me if I think about it too much.  I believe this is because thinking and the soul do not go together.  One cannot explain the other.  In answering this question this week, I was able to tease my true answer out to this:

If you take away your physical body and your ego, what you have left is your soul.  We can’t change WHO we are (soul) but we can change WHO we are (ego).  Your physical body just happens to be the vehicle that you were assigned to cart your ego and soul around in.  For that matter, are your ego and soul actually even located in your body…there’s that hard question!

Therefore, I do believe the ego can change it’s trajectory-at any given point.  But, like anything, it’s a conscious choice.  The old patterns that we are engaged in have to be dysfunctional to the point that we finally say “hmmm….I wonder if there is another way here”.  Initiating this process is (usually) like eating a bag of chips-you can’t eat just one.  Nor can you peel back a layer of yourself without discovering another layer underneath that could possibly use some introspection.  The deeper you go, the closer you get to what is REAL.  What is REAL is the only thing that doesn’t change-your soul.

When I think about the pain I have experienced or loss that I have felt in my life, I now realize that this was never an insult to my soul.  It was purely ego-pain felt by something I thought should be one way, but ended up turning out another way.  It’s all the chatter and stories we tell ourselves about the way we think things “should” be.  When, really, we have no idea about the “shoulds” in life at all.

DNA has a role to the extent that we may have different tendencies towards different attributes, but, again, it becomes all about choice.  Some of the most beautiful things arise from the most difficult and unpleasant circumstances.  If we lean towards DNA to explain situations, we remove the locus of control and again place it externally-like we had no control over it.  Essentially, we do not have any control over it, but we certainly do have control over what choices we make and with what level of awareness we make them.

I guess, in short, I don’t believe that we change WHO we are.  The moment the soul meets the human form and emerges from 40 weeks of gestating is the same soul that takes their last breath in a physical body that is no longer able to act as a vehicle.

So, then the question becomes…WHO are you?


Liger's and KWD's Banff trip! 041



Just Because You Can’t See It…

Sometimes I’m in the middle of talking to someone and I become acutely aware that there is another whole conversation going on at a deeper level.  It’s not something I hear-it’s something I feel just about in the area of my diaphragm.  This has happened to me for as long as I can remember.  When I first started learning about the ego and consciousness, I initially thought that perhaps my mind was just rambling incessantly during the times that I might be engaged verbally with someone.  And there were also times when I thought I could have been “losing my mind”.  What I always noticed about this phenomenon though, is the point at which the information exchange seemed to be happening and how it felt-completely separate from an actual conversation.  Two weeks ago, I had the opportunity to hear Gregg Braden speak (I’ll wait while you Google him…).  I received the most fantastic news…that, truthfully, I sensed all along.  Life’s longest journey is 18 inches.

There is a place in California called the Institute of Heart Math (  This organization relies on the intelligence of people’s hearts to promote health and healing in all aspects of life.  There are some amazing scientifically-based articles and studies on their website that can give the left-brainers among us the black and white that sometimes we need to make things logical for us.  The crux of the discussion that evening with Gregg Braden was this-they have discovered that the heart has neural (brain) tissue in it.  The neuroscience nurse in me found this amazing-the wondering part of me found this affirming and reassuring.  Thoughts and emotions that we have (and others emit) affect a magnetic field which energetically affect those in our environment.  They have actually been able, in several instances, to measure this distance which is 5 to 8 feet.  Why only 5 to 8 feet?  Because that’s the sensitivity of the equipment doing the measuring.  In reality, the thought is that the field extends much farther.

Personally speaking, I could recount so many experiences that have defied verbal explanation that this information completely rationalized for me.  Moments of interacting with someone and something is triggered inside of me.  Most often the reaction elicited is along the lines of:

-“we just met, but I feel that I know this person or they feel familiar to me”

-“she just said the very thing that I have been thinking for months-and explained it so perfectly”

-“I don’t know what it is about this place but it just feels so comfortable to me”

Think of all of those “vibes” or “feelings” or “gut instincts” or “connections” or “weird things that happen”.  Think of the time you were remembering someone from your past and then you run into them-or they call you.  Think of the time you were driving in the car and thought of a song and then they played it.  Think of the phrase “mother’s intuition”.  The evidence is there (and I have lumped a lot of different events into one large category), but essentially, it’s all energy.

One of the most prominent examples in my life is a creative connection I have with a gentleman I met 6 years ago booking a wedding photographer.  He was recommended to me, but I had not seen any of his work and did not know him personally at all.  When my husband and I sat down that evening and opened his portfolio, that was enough.  His images captured the exact “feeling” that I wanted for my photographs.  I had been worried about having to try to explain what we were looking for before we had gone in.  Fear alleviated in one glance-the man had a collection of precisely the emotion I wanted to convey.  Like he could see inside my mind-or that we were creatively aligned in some way.  Thus began a great relationship without the need for really any words…how incredible is that?  He will post a photograph and I have posted comments such as “like a punch to the gut-but in a great way”.  He has this ability to capture a moment that stirs my soul.  I knew that when I was creating my blog I had to have his help-and I had some difficulty in my own head trying to articulate what it was that I was asking for.  Effortlessly it came to fruition.  

When you take a few minutes to sit quietly, those experiences in your life will come bounding forward.  The times when you have been moved but no words have exchanged lips-and these can be positive experiences, and often overwhelming experiences.  If you are having a really bad day, think of all of the people in a 5-8 foot radius that you could possibly affect. Not everyone will “tune in” to your field, but the possibility is there.  Likewise, you may join the same frequency as someone in your environment who is fulfilled and just simply enjoying!  We all have had experiences with those people who, for the most part (because we all have the bad days”, fill you with peace and contentment just to be around-they don’t even have to say anything.

Many times there are no words to describe these “heart conversations” we have…and that’s perfect because no words ever could!  It’s almost like they at a deeper level than words.  Even when there are words being exchanged in dialogue, the heart can be doing it’s own sending and receiving exclusive of that.  

18 inches?  That’s the distance from your brain to  your heart-the life-force (literally) of you.  The difficulty is remembering that thoughts are just thoughts-we have a thought every 1.2 seconds.  Some are useful, but most are simply repetitions of prior thoughts.  Notice where your conversations come from-what part of your body you are feeling them in.  When you really plant yourself in the moment, those meaningful conversations originate below the neck.


Photograph by Beaver Smith (  Enjoy his images and notice what ones “speak” to you…without saying anything at all.