Friday~The Law of Detachment
Allow yourself and others the freedom to be who they are. Do not force solutions-allow solutions to spontaneously emerge. Uncertainty is essential, and your path to freedom (Deepak Chopra)
Deepak Chopra wrote a book called “The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success”. I read it for the first time several years ago, and now these laws have become the cornerstones of my day. It’s that grounding piece of wisdom that I anchor in my soul every morning…a framework to make some sense out of my life.
My favourite law is the Law of Detachment. Ironically, it is the law I struggle with the most-the one I catch myself resisting on a fairly frequent basis. Pema Chodron says “nothing ever goes away until it teaches us what we need to know”.
There is a definite need for me to spend more time here in the process of detachment. The more I try to close down when it comes up, the more confident I am that I have some work to be done here.
Part of my trouble with this law arises when my brain tries to assign that “traditional” definition to the word “detachment”. I think of a feeling of letting go-which to me always triggers a sense of loss. From that loss evolves a feeling of sadness…of ending. When those emotions get evoked, I run for the hills. Operation Shut Down is initiated and the barricades go up in attempt to squelch any hurt that may come up.
And I remember reading the explanation of that law for the first time. Do not force solutions? Well, that goes against essentially everything we’ve been taught from the time we were old enough to be aware of “finding the answers”. Isn’t life all about getting the answers as quickly and as correctly as possible? Don’t even get me started on the “uncertainty is essential” sentence. I recall reading that and thinking “this sounds like the law of sitting back and putting your feet up”. None of this made sense when I first read it. I rejected everything about that explanation.
Which really meant that it was where I needed to put my attention.
Over the last few years I’ve done a lot of reading and absorbing about detachment…and have moments where I’ve reached a real sense of peace with it. Because detachment is about love. And love I understand.
The turning point for me was this nugget from Deepak Chopra at Seduction of Spirit in 2013.
“Detachment is the highest form of love. Think about a mother and her infant. The mother loves that baby from the moment it is conceived. The mother never looks at the baby and wonder if it loves her back”
The practice of detachment is the ultimate act of surrender. Your ego moves completely out of the way and you are acting from a place of pure love and trust in the Universe. You believe wholeheartedly that the Universe is on your side and you allow whatever is going to happen…happen.
The freedom comes from truly understanding that you don’t have to come up with the answers. You’re fully engaged in practicing acceptance and non-judgement here while simultaneously understanding that you also need to step out of the way. It’s the understanding that, contrary to what your ego believes, not one of us really has any control over this ride anyway. That’s the kicker-and what’s been my Mount Everest.
And I continue to work with this every Friday (it inevitably comes up at other times through the week too as all of the seven laws do). I reflect on what’s happening here and now for me…the relationships I have, the intentions I have set and the work that I do-both professionally and otherwise. I *try* to be mindful of when I’m getting too caught up in thinking about how things “should” be rather than just accepting that this is how they are. This is not to say that I do sit back and put my feet up. It’s simply to say that I do the best that I can in everything I do in any given minute. Understanding and reminding myself too that others are always doing their best in their moment (although, sometimes I have to repeat that like a mantra because I still shake my head at some things).
Looking at detachment through that lens of love, is a really quick way to strip that ego back and soften the “stepping back” action.
“Detachment is not an absence of interest. It is ABSOLUTE interest, but still with the capacity of non-clinging. Enjoy the moment while it is there and, when the moment starts disappearing, as everything is bound to disappear, let it go. That is detachment~Osho”
So think of detachment as your emotional Bounce sheet. Helps eliminate pesky emotional static cling.